Struggling

I am struggling to understand some concepts today.  Struggling to find where I ‘Fit’ into the world.

Everything around me is, or at least feels, disastrous and I feel as though I am lost.
I want to cry on a whim.. run away, hide sheltered in my own little cocoon and wait for time to pass, until I can open my eyes and be shrouded in happiness, in love, in enjoyment.

I live in a world where I am unsure of what my dreams, my hopes are.
On one hand I want to give everything that I have to the one who is stealing my heart, but who is lost in a world that I do not comprehend, do not understand.
 Can I live my life that way? Can I become oblivious to what I know, what I love and turn my back on everything that I conceive to be normal? Will I be truly happy? or am I just looking for a rue which will provide me with happiness now, and sadness in the future?

With the other, I wish to pack it all up. Live the nomad life. Become a figment of my own imagination and travel the world into unknown places, untouched boundaries and unspoilt people. I want to discover all else that is outside of me. To re-access my life, my wants, my needs. To follow something that is unknown in me.  Something that I can’t quite explain. Something that haunts me in my days, and my nights..

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